


Be My Rest, Be My Fantasy

by cuddlewithacorpse



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Forehead Touching, M/M, Making Out, Medical Themes, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 11:33:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13658136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlewithacorpse/pseuds/cuddlewithacorpse
Summary: After the game, Lawrence came back for Adam, like he said he would. Adam realizes he feels more than just grateful to Lawrence.





	Be My Rest, Be My Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> saw is and always has been gay, thanks to shay for opening my eyes to that
> 
>  
> 
> title is from "should have known better" by sufjan stevens

At first Adam wasn't sure what the feeling was, maybe it was just a connection from surviving the game together. But at a certain point he knew it was something more. The feeling in his stomach when Lawrence was around, the way his heart beat fast and his palms went clammy. He tried to ignore it, sure that Lawrence was, probably, straight, he'd had a wife at least, and a mistress, there was no way he'd be interested in Adam. But he couldn't stop thinking about him that way, about the way he'd pressed their foreheads together in the bathroom, about the gentle way he'd spoken to him when he’d come back for him, about the way his hands, strong but gentle, had moved over his wounds. Adam couldn't help the guilt he felt lusting after the doctor, Lawrence Gordon had saved his life and yet he still wanted more from him. 

Sitting in Lawrence’s “office” was nerve wracking, Adam knew he had nothing to fear there, yet the atmosphere was anxious, the lights too bright and unnatural, the sounds of machinery around them discomforting. “I never got a chance to uh,” Adam scratched at the back of his neck, his shoulder still stiff from the healing wound, “To thank you, you know, for coming back for me.” Lawrence smiled at him, that slow, sly looking smirk before answering, leaning against his cane, “You did actually, it was all you said the first few days.” Adam dropped his hand, felt a flush spread over his cheeks, he didn’t remember anything from that time except pain and nightmares, broken only by the comforting sound of Lawrence’s voice and the gentle touches to his hair and cheeks he still suspected he’d imagined. 

“You don’t have to thank me, though, I promised I’d come back for you, and what is a man worth if he doesn’t keep his word.” Lawrence smiled at him again and Adam’s stomach churned. “Why don’t I check your stitches, make sure nothing’s infected?” He nodded, dumbly, leaning back on the exam table and pulling his t-shirt over his head. He hopped up, settling himself and wetting his lips as he watched Lawrence snap rubber gloves into place. It shouldn’t have been as hot as it was, Adam had never been into doctors before, he never even understood the fixation on “sexy” nurses...but this was something else entirely. 

Lawrence leaned into him and Adam could hardly breathe, he was only checking his stitches, it was nothing else. Adam repeated that to himself as Lawrence pressed his fingers against the wound, the pain setting his heart racing. “How does that feel?” He asked, quiet, his hands now gently brushing over Adam’s shoulder and chest. “Uh, f-fine,” he answered, his voice shaking and his chest flushing bright pink. “Are you alright, Adam?” he asked, and Adam forced himself to make eye contact, only to find Lawrence smiling down at him, his hand trailing from the wound on his shoulder until it wrapped around the nape of his neck. The feeling was familiar, it brought him back to gripping Lawrence, his face pale from blood loss, begging him to stay, except this time his hands were warm through the gloves, and his face was calm, comforting.

Adam opened his mouth to answer, but found himself unable to, Lawrence’s face was so close to his and it was overwhelming. He leaned forward instead, pressed their foreheads together and breathed in the scent of Lawrence’s cologne. Lawrence hummed in response, closed his eyes and turned his head, nuzzling their cheeks together and nosing against Adam’s jawline. The gesture sent shivers through Adam, his brain shorted momentarily before he went back to trying to convince himself this was just a show of comfort, of shared trauma, and nothing else. Except he couldn’t actually convince himself of jackshit when Lawrence’s hand was on his neck and their cheeks were pressed together and they were literally sharing breath, for fucks sake. Adam turned his face and pressed their lips together then, soft and almost chaste, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he waited for Lawrence to react.

Lawrence reacted much differently than he expected, instead of pulling away, of politely explaining that he didn’t think of Adam that way and never would, he kissed back. He slid his hand from the nape of Adam’s neck up to the back of his head, digging his fingers into his hair and pulling his face closer, kissing him deeper and dipping his tongue between his lips ever so gently. It took Adam a moment of shock to adjust, he leaned in further, one hand resting on Lawrence's shoulder, opening his mouth to welcome his tongue. Kissing Lawrence was different than he'd imagined, it was more comfortable, more _comforting_ than he’d thought it would be. 

They kissed like that for a while, Adam sat on the exam table, Lawrence standing between his knees, hunched over to reach his mouth. Lawrence pulled his hair a little, mostly to adjust his angle, to push his tongue deeper or nibble at his lips, but sometimes just to hear him gasp at the pain. Each yank or bite had Adam panting, his cock stirring and his brain fogging. One of his hands sat awkwardly next to his thigh, still fearful that if he moved too much or too suddenly he’d ruin the moment, the other was thrown around Lawrence's shoulders, holding him close.

Lawrence pulled away, disentangling himself slowly. Adam thought to apologize, even though he hadn't done anything wrong, but held his tongue when he looked down at him with another smile that made his heart jump. “Sorry, I want to keep doing _that_ but,” he gestured to his leg and the white knuckle grip he had on his cane. Adam cursed under his breath, feeling stupid for not realizing sooner that their position would be uncomfortable for him.

Adam scooted over on the table, crossing his legs to hide his half hard cock, and patted the spot next to him. Lawrence sat down, bracing a hand on Adam’s knee and then sliding it up his thigh once he was settled. “Hey,” Adam said softly, looking up at him through half lidded eyes. He smiled back, cupping the back of Adam’s head again, his fingers digging into his hair to haul him forward. Sitting side by side was perhaps more awkward than their previous position, but it gave Lawrence the use of his other hand, which he slid along Adam’s inner thigh before cupping him through his jeans. “Oh,” Lawrence sighed against his mouth, slightly surprised. Adam was embarrassed to be so hard already but it didn’t seem like anyone else minded. Lawrence held him more firmly, grinding his palm against the bulge as Adam’s hips squirmed, trying to get more substantial friction. 

Adam pushed his hand away so he could get his fly open, kicking his sneakers off in the process and sliding his jeans halfway down his thighs. He groaned quietly when Lawrence got a hold of him, the rubber of the doctor's gloves strange against his bare skin. Lawrence gave him a few clumsy, testing strokes before pulling back and removing the gloves, “Sorry, that just felt a bit odd, considering.” Adam nodded, stifling another groan against his hand when Lawrence’s bare fingers brushed him. He’d never been this sensitive before, usually he could edge himself for half an hour before he got this desperate, but Lawrence did something to him, make everything better, sharper, more intense. “Will you, uh...do you want to fuck me?” Adam asked, his voice cracking. He wasn’t sure what the fuck his problem was, his heart was in danger of beating out of his chest, his brain screaming that this would all turn to dust in his hands and he’d be left alone again. 

Lawrence’s lip quirked up in a smirk and Adam blushed, a shiver running down his spine, he felt like a fucking teenager again. “I would love to,” he answered, leaning over to press a kiss to his closed lips before grabbing something off the tray next to him. He handed Adam the tube of medical lubricant with an unsure expression. Adam yanked his pants the rest of the way off, his chest flushing as Lawrence watched him, fully clothed. He felt himself calming, this was easy, this was familiar, popping the cap and wetting his fingers, sliding his hand between his legs and working himself open. Lawrence watched him with rapt attention, and he found himself wondering if the doctor had done this before. Maybe he’d exchanged clumsy handjobs as an undergrad or maybe that girl wasn’t the first of his students he’d fucked. Adam found himself inexplicably jealous at the idea of any other guy having Lawrence, he should’ve waited for him, even if he hadn’t known him then.

Adam laid back on the exam table, the angle of it sitting him up enough that he could make eye contact with Lawrence while he fucked himself on his fingers. He prepped himself slowly and carefully, it’d been a while since he'd done this, too busy with work, too busy with _Lawrence_ , even before the game. He fingered himself longer than he usually did, relaxing slowly, Lawrence was bigger than he was, taller, with broader shoulders and big hands, and he figured his cock would be proportional. Adam shifted, splaying his legs wider, his knees falling open to put him on display. It was debauched and he hoped the display scandalized Lawrence a little, showed him he wanted him, that he’d take anything given to him. 

Brushing his prostate on a deep stroke, Adam groaned, his cock twitching where it sat against his belly, hard and flushed. “Do you need,” Lawrence stopped, cleared his throat, “help? With...that?” Adam looked down at him, he was hard in his slacks, his hands twitching where they rested on his thighs. “No,” he answered with a grunt as he withdrew his fingers, “c’mere though, I’m ready for you, doc,” he said with a smirk. 

Lawrence shuffled forward, opening his trousers as he settled between Adam’s spread thighs. Adam hitched his thighs up, hands under his knees as Lawrence slicked his cock and lined himself up. He groaned deep and long as Lawrence slid in, he was so fucking _thick_ , stretching him wider than three of his own fingers had. “Is that alright?” Lawrence asked, his voice strained. “Fuck...yeah. Move already,” Adam answered with a breathy laugh, nudging Lawrence’s shoulder with his foot and pressing his hips down toward him. Lawrence hooked Adam’s thighs over his forearms, pushing his knees towards his chest as he began to thrust into him. Adam whimpered, Lawrence was huge, covering him completely as he fucked into him, a comforting weight on him, shielding him from anything outside the two of them. 

Adam leaned up, wrapping his arms around Lawrence’s neck to drag him down into a kiss, even though it shoved his knees into his chest, the muscles of his lower back and thighs burning with it. He breathed wet and heavy against Lawrence’s mouth, sliding his tongue along his lips and teeth before sealing their mouths together and kissing him like his life depended on it. The world shrank around him until the only thing he could focus on was Lawrence, the smell of his cologne, the taste of his tongue, the burning stretch of his cock, the sound of his heaving breaths, it was overwhelming in the best way. He found himself grounded, the constant anxiety that had been plaguing him since the bathroom finally beginning to calm and being replaced by the even rhythm of Lawrence rocking into him. Little _ah ah_ sounds fell from his mouth as Lawrence thrust into him, “Please, Lawrence, harder. I need you,” he stopped to kiss him again, the sound of his moans swallowed down, “Harder, fuck. Need you to make it hurt. Please.” 

Lawrence groaned, Adam’s begging shooting straight through him, settling low in his gut and spurring him on. He gripped Adam’s thighs tighter, fucking into him harder and faster, punching high pitched whines from him with each thrust. Adam managed to disentangle one hand from the death grip on Lawrence’s shoulders to wrap it around his cock, the other digging into his hair to keep their mouths close. He stroked his cock as Lawrence fucked him hard, his body folded in half, the dripping head of his cock nearly at eye level. He felt himself rushing towards orgasm, his body over sensitive and overwhelmed, his strung out brain whiting out with pleasure. Breathing heavily through his nose as Lawrence licked into his mouth, he gripped himself tighter, trying to slow down. He shook with the effort, his eyes shut tightly and his moans strained. “Are you okay?” Lawrence ground out, his hips slowing. “Fuck don’t stop,” He groaned, his head lolling back, almost hanging off the edge of the exam table, “‘M gonna cum soon.”. Lawrence obeyed and picked up the pace again. 

Adam couldn’t hold back any longer as Lawrence sped up, his hips snapping forward hard over and over at a punishing pace. He came with a teary whimper, pumping his cock even after he’d striped his chest and cheeks with his own cum. “Oh fuck,” he mumbled, his words slurred as Lawrence fucked him, chasing his own orgasm. He went boneless, the muscles in his thighs and hips screaming with the strain of their position, letting Lawrence take what he needed, moaning and whimpering the whole time. It took only a few more minutes for Lawrence to finish, burying himself deep as he could and shuddering through his orgasm as Adam kissed his cheeks and the corners of his mouth. 

Lawrence pulled out slowly after a moment, scooting back to let Adam’s legs fall onto the table, his thighs splayed wide, his ass, beginning to drip cum, on display. Adam ignored the discomfort of it, too tired and well fucked to even think about getting up. He instead rolled over slightly, making room on the small table for Lawrence to lie next to him, he hadn’t always been one for cuddling, and found himself shocked at how desperately he wanted to be held. Lawrence laid next to him, pulling him over until he was resting on his chest, under his arm, his head tucked under Lawrence’s chin. “I want you to join me, Adam. Help me help others,” Lawrence ran a hand through Adam’s hair, his lips moving close to his ear. “Don’t you feel better? After the game? We can show people to appreciate what they have, we could do it together.” Adam wasn’t sure how he felt about the games, he didn’t think his had changed him for the better, but it had given him Lawrence and he’d do whatever he had not to lose him. “Okay, yeah, I’ll help you. Whatever you need, Lawrence, I won’t leave you.” Lawrence tipped his face up, a hand under his chin and kissed him softly, then lingered, sharing breath, their foreheads touching.


End file.
